I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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