whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
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Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He has the fingertips of a God
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