He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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