I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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