You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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