No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
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Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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