he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Your penis caused this!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize