I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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