She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
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sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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