you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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