at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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