I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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