I got chris browned last night
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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