mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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