I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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