Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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