You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize