The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize