Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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