I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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