also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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