so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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