We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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