Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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