I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize