You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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