Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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