nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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