Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize