i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
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Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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