The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize