There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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