Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize