You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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