I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize