Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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