I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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