I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize