Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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