Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize