Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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