take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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