I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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