New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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