You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
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We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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