Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize