I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize