I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My balls are so social today.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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