I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
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He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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