Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize